Melancholy:
Tonight, what I am about to mingle about, is not what I communicate to everyone usually. It is not how I feel everyday or night. It is how I can be defined.
Melancholy is simply what I am. Flight of emotions, and the sadness that I lack the vocabulary for, although most of the words associated to emotions as nothing but negative as sadness, exhaustion, or despair.
It is the time, the same as last year, but with one difference. It is almost one year since I have left my ex-life. A life with ambition, people that loved me (my family), people that some times pretended to love me, and friends. I have left them because of my selfishness; I have left people dear to me.
Today, it is almost a year, I have relatively gained what my selfishness desired, but I have nothing, have no one to open to, no one to love, or feel loved.
I have almost grown as selfless individual because I wanted to gain the maximum selfishness to be able to help others in need with a bigger magnitude. But this second, my only ambition is to survive.
Survive from my excess energy. Even in my relaxing moment I seem nothing but a super hyper working machine.
A series of things has been gathered as to develop my life path. Loneliness is defined as uniqueness, but to sadness that follows. A path, that is to higher up, but to lesser human feelings, lesser happy feelings. Am I at the right place at the right time?
Tonight, what I am about to mingle about, is not what I communicate to everyone usually. It is not how I feel everyday or night. It is how I can be defined.
Melancholy is simply what I am. Flight of emotions, and the sadness that I lack the vocabulary for, although most of the words associated to emotions as nothing but negative as sadness, exhaustion, or despair.
It is the time, the same as last year, but with one difference. It is almost one year since I have left my ex-life. A life with ambition, people that loved me (my family), people that some times pretended to love me, and friends. I have left them because of my selfishness; I have left people dear to me.
Today, it is almost a year, I have relatively gained what my selfishness desired, but I have nothing, have no one to open to, no one to love, or feel loved.
I have almost grown as selfless individual because I wanted to gain the maximum selfishness to be able to help others in need with a bigger magnitude. But this second, my only ambition is to survive.
Survive from my excess energy. Even in my relaxing moment I seem nothing but a super hyper working machine.
A series of things has been gathered as to develop my life path. Loneliness is defined as uniqueness, but to sadness that follows. A path, that is to higher up, but to lesser human feelings, lesser happy feelings. Am I at the right place at the right time?
posted by Amir at 7:58 p.m.
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